Cover photo by Craig Wallace Dale

The Net Will Appear

Erin Mallon
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Two rooftops in suburban Ohio. A 75-year-old man and a 9-year-old girl sit on houses full of secrets. Literally. Bernard wants nothing more than to enjoy his beer (and perhaps kill a few sparrows), but Rory next door has different plans for him. With six decades between them and only four chance encounters to connect, these unlikely new friends unearth what’s buried in each other and find new ground. Warning: this play includes tap dancing, pumpkin throwing and air-hugging.

Production Info

Cast: 2 total (1 female, 1 male)
Full Length Comedy (about 75 minutes)
Single Set
Contemporary Costumes
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Press Quotes

“The best word to describe this show is pure. Seventy-five minutes of pure heart, pure warmth, pure fun. Go see it, and you’ll come out wanting to hug every loved one you have. According to Rory, you absolutely need four hugs daily just for survival, eight for maintenance, or twelve for growth, after all, so consider it an investment in yourself. Erin Mallon’s THE NET WILL APPEAR traces an unlikely friendship between two neighbors: the hardened, 75-year-old veteran Bernard and the optimistic, tireless 9-year-old schoolgirl Rory. The plot is developed entirely through conversations exchanged from their respective rooftops. Their first chat is initiated by Rory’s mere childish curiosity in Bernard’s solitude, but over the course of several months, they find in each other the love of a “bonus” father and daughter which is missing from their lives. Simple? Very. Cheesy? Slightly. But it’s that charming kind of cheesiness you find in Hallmark movies, the kind you just can’t help but love, especially now that holiday cheer is in the air. Plus, the show’s hysterical. The characters’ sharp wit offsets what could have been a strictly saccharine story, and thus sets it above any Hallmark movie. You don’t know what will come out of either character’s mouth at any given moment. It’s often a toss-up between wisdom or a wisecrack, and either way it’s gold.” —Gillian Russo,

“The humor in THE NET WILL APPEAR is born out of a straight man/zany girl set up. But the playwright Erin Mallon uses Rory’s outrageous honesty to break through Bernard’s crusty dissatisfaction and hurt in surprising ways.” —Susan Hasho,

“The play denotes an unlikely friendship that develops between two neighbors — on their rooftops, a 75-year-old man and a 10-year-old girl, save each other from their lonely worlds below. The show was truly a surprisingly humorous story filled with love, heart, and compassion — where two wonderfully eccentric people find true friendship.” —Jennifer Tripucka,

About the Author


  • Erin Mallon

    ERIN MALLON is a USA Today Bestselling Author, playwright, producer of audio plays and narrator of 600 audiobooks. She is a six-time Earphones Award Winner and a five-time Audie Award Nominee. Her audio play THESE WALLS CAN TALK is a 2021 Independent Audiobook Award Winner for Humor. The Natural History Series is Erin’s debut trio of romantic comedy novels including FLIRTASAURUS, LOVEBUG and SHARKBAIT. Erin’s plays have been presented with Urban Stages, New Georges, Hudson Valley Shakespeare Festival, The Collective, Cherry Picking, Great Plains Theater Conference, Samuel French #OOB Short Play Festival, Project Y Theater, Vivid Stage, Mile Square Theatre and more. Erin’s play BRANCHED (dir. Robert Ross Parker) premiered with InViolet Theater at HERE Arts Center in NYC and is in print with Original Works Publishing. Her play, THE NET WILL APPEAR had its Off-Broadway Premiere at 59E59 Theaters in NYC starring the great Richard Masur and is now available on as an audio drama co-starring Matilda Lawler (Disney Plus' Flora & Ulysses, Broadway's THE FERRYMAN). Erin's other full-length plays include: PALE BLUE DOT(S), GOOD RIDDANCE, SOFT ANIMALS, HAND ME DOWN, STUNNING DISPLAYS OF PROWESS, SKIN HUNGRY, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT, COME FIND ME, THESE WALLS CAN TALK 2: THE NARWHAL STRIKES BACK! And THESE WALLS CAN TALK 3: RISE OF THE MACHINE. Along with writer Bixby Elliot, Erin is the founder and co-curator of The Brooklyn Generator (a playwriting engine that creates "plays in less-than-30-days") and one half of The Theater Husband / Theater Wife Project. Erin lives in a little yellow house on the outskirts of NYC with her husband and Three J's.

About the Book

Book Information

Publisher BPPI
Publication Date 2/20/2024
Pages 60
ISBN 9780881459968

Special Notes

Special Notes

Licensees are required to include the original stage producers credits in the following form on the title page in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play and in all advertising in which the full cast appears in size of type not less than ten percent (10%) of the size of the title of the Play:
The following must appear within all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play:
The Net Will Appear is produced
by special arrangement with Broadway Play Publishing Inc, NYC