Monologue
Freak Storm — Adam
Matt Pelfrey
Adam: After Ian said she wanted more, he kinda gave me a shove towards the car. And there was this moment when I was … just gonna say no, right? And, that’s actually what I could swear I did say, in my mind at least. But, I didn’t. Didn’t say anything. Just kinda trotted up, opened the door, crawled into the back seat. She was laying there. Not making any noise, nothing, just there … and I was like, “Here we go, this is the big moment.” And I move on top of her, and the first thing, the first, I don’t know — was how she wasn’t moving much. I get on her, and she didn’t wrap her arms or legs around me, nothing. I was … you know, I thought she — you have to understand how drunk we were — but I was thinking when Ian told me she wanted the rest of us, that she was just this crazy nympho, and why should I argue with that? But I get between her … ah, and she’s just not moving at all … just breathing there, and I try to focus on her face, but it’s hard, everything’s soft and blurry, blood pumping away from my brain, and her hair, she had kinda long hair, it was over her face. (His voice starts to shake) And that was like this moment when … I just stopped and kinda absorbed the scene, and … and … her flesh wasn’t inviting, was clammy, and the car smelled, musty and thick, sweat mixed with Speed Stick and whatever perfume she had been wearing, and stronger, the smell of alcohol, everywhere, those clove cigarettes we used to smoke … and then I look back down at her … (Pause) … You’ve got to understand what it’s like … I mean, before you’ve ever had sex … as a guy, I mean, maybe it’s the same for you, but … nothing could possibly be more important than getting it. Nothing on the planet can possibly equal that fucking primitive urge … to find out what it’s all about for real … nothing, absolutely nothing seems more impossible to attain … you have no idea what kind of power you … all of you … hold over us. (Beat) … Once I was inside her, she still didn’t move, at all … so I pushed the hair from her face, the slick strands, and — there was no expression on her … just blank. Don’t know if that was because the booze, or … but she was just staring up at the … nothing. Her eyes were glassy … moist … and I swear I almost got off her right then and there, pulled out of her … but … instead … I though to myself … “Nobody will notice” and I just … kept going …. (Pause)