G: It’s a little after midnight. I’m in a hotel room in Redondo. I can’t sleep, partly because someone is throwing one hell of a party down the hall, and partly because if I have to think about our fucking client’s fifth amendment to the twelfth redraft of his stupid bullshit app launch party extravaganza bullshit anymore, I’m going to peel off my face with an oyster fork and go around slapping people with it. Seriously, I wonder if people know that when you say you’re an event planner, what you actually mean is you just adopt the shittiest children in the world for a few weeks at a time and let them throw feces at you. Anyway. Since I know I need to get better at just talking and, uh, speaking into a microphone (good job so far), I’ve decided to record this very special episode of the M&G Podcast. I’m recording it onto my phone so the sound quality is going to be for shit, but that’s okay, we’re not going to release it. This episode is just for you. My love.

It’s raining where you are. I checked the weather after I tried calling and texting all day and haven’t gotten a response. I think you’re doing that thing you do sometimes where you … disappear for a little while. Uh, I’m gonna be totally honest with you, I have absolutely no idea how to deal with you when you do this. I don’t want to smother you or baby you, and it does drive me a little insane that you won’t let me, I dunno, help somehow.

But I hope you also know I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to change. I want me to be the one to change and, and learn. I hope you know that it’s okay and that I understand that you need to go through what you need to go through to heal. If that makes any sense.

Because I also know you have nightmares sometimes. (G pauses, anxious. The sound of the party outside are faint but audible.)

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