Callie: As you can see — or as, obviously, you can’t see — the power is out. A storm is coming. Some people call this an act of God. The faithful, of course. And the insurance companies. Who put their faith in actuarial tables. But they believe in God too. God gives them something to sell. Namely, insurance against the mercurial whims of the Almighty. Because if God decides to send a lightning bolt into your bedroom, or feels like diverting a local tributary into your basement, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Except maybe prayer, if you think that might work. But either way, you can get some money back. (She moves closer to the audience.) That’s where I come in. I’m a claims adjuster. Or, to be more precise, a Catastrophe Specialist. My firm downplays the religious implications. But they exist between the lines. See, if God has it in for us, then the sensible thing to do is to protect yourself against Him. And insure yourself against those few occasions when he decides to “act”. That’s the whole reasoning for catastrophic insurance coverage. Institutionalized existentialism. You won’t find many Christian Scientists in the insurance industry. (She sits on the lip of the stage.) Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. Determining the probability of events. That’s a pretty cool way to play God. If you’re so inclined. And I usually am. Sure, it’s a game — but name a better one. Risk? Life? Mousetrap? No, for the sheer entertainment value, nothing beats playing God. Although there is a bit of a downside. Which would be … oh, I suppose all the exposure to extreme human suffering. But I do have a generous 401K plan. I wonder if God does.

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