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Things You Shouldn’t Say Past Midnight

Peter Ackerman

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Ever been racially slurred in the sack? Ever been subjected to strangers yelling at you at 3 am about the most intimate details of your life? Ever been to New York? Six characters from wildly different backgrounds make love, war, and hysteria late one night in the cultural, sexual, and generational smorgasbord that is Manhattan.

Production Info

Cast: 6 total (2 female, 4 male)
Full Length Comedy (about 115 minutes)
Single Set
Contemporary Costumes
Category: Tag:

Press Quotes

“Peter Ackerman’s screwball bedroom comedy consists mainly of a sublimely ridiculous conference call involving three pairs of lovers. The questions about sex and the proper balance between intellectual and physical attraction have no answers, but Ackerman has some interesting suggestions, and, to his credit, comedy outweighs the theorizing.” —The New Yorker

“THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY PAST MIDNIGHT: A COMEDY IN THREE BEDS is a contemporary sex farce you should see just as soon as you can — even though it’s bound to be around for quite some time. This riotously funny work is Peter Ackerman’s welcome debut as a playwright … the hilarious dialogue just gets better and better, as the lines fly by like rapid-fire artillery.” —David Kaufman, Daily News

Singles meets Three’s Company in this boisterously naughty romp about three couples searching for love (and lust) in New York City. One pair’s quarrel — sparked by bizarre, politically incorrect pillow talk — sets off a farcical chain of events that includes an offbeat May-December coupling, a speakerphone-aided group-therapy session, and lots of cheerful bonking.” —C C, Entertainment Weekly

About the Author


  • Peter Ackerman

    Peter Ackerman's play, THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SAY PAST MIDNIGHT, ran off-Broadway in New York, in London at Soho Rep, and elsewhere around the world. He adapted it into a comedy television series for DirecTV. He co-wrote the movies ICE AGE and ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS. His adaptation of THE PAJAMA GAME, starring Harry Connick Jr., won the Tony Award for Best Musical Revival on Broadway. He is a writer and producer on the FX television show THE AMERICANS. His children's book, THE LONELY PHONE BOOTH, was selected for the Smithsonian’s 2010 Notable Books for Children, as well as adapted and produced as a musical at the Manhattan Children’s Theater. Its sequel, THE LONELY TYPEWRITER, was released Fall, 2014. You can see his web-series, THE GO-GETTERS, at

About the Book

Book Information

Publisher BPPI
Publication Date 12/1/2001
Pages 90
ISBN 9780881456110

Special Notes

Special Notes

Licensees are required to include the original stage producers credits in the following form on the title page in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play and in all advertising in which the full cast appears in size of type not less than ten percent (10%) of the size of the title of the Play:
The following must appear within all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play:
Things You Shouldn’t Say Past Midnight is produced
by special arrangement with Broadway Play Publishing Inc, NYC


Upcoming and Recent Productions


11/12/2020 – 11/22/2020
Vero Beach Theatre Guild, Inc.
Vero Beach, FL

4/11/2019 – 4/14/2019
Vero Beach Theatre Guild
Vero Beach, FL

7/14/2017 – 7/22/2017
Thank You Five Productions
Port Orange, FL